Reply to combining households with kids of very diffferent ages (needs)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend has two teenagers. I have two young school aged kids (K and 2nd.)

Their needs in life are quite different. For instance, boyfriend's daughter is 16 and just started driving a car, is out rather late, a lot of quarreling about curfew. Boyfriend's son may be smoking pot. We are at a real cross roads about how to proceed. Understandably, he wants them to live with us, if we merged households. I'm a little more fearful. [b]He has told me he would create rules, a contract with them, etc.[/b]

I'd welcome more thoughts about how we might think about this subject, so it's not divisive?[/quote]

[b]Why can't he create rules and a contract now?[/b]  I would NOT move in with him and expose your kids to this until he has resolved this problem.  He needs to parent his own children, rather than expecting a woman to do it for him.  If he's capable of solving this problem, let him do so before you disrupt your children's lives.  [/quote]

I have merged kids with my second husband. That question really stands out to me. There should be rules and enforcement of said rules in place now. What is he waiting for? For YOU to be the bad guy, putting you in an impossible situation? He needs to get his shit under control first.[/quote]

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