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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two separate issues here:

1) Too much step-grandpa, apparently.  What exactly is your husband's objection?  Just saying he's unusual isn't going to get you much advice.

2) Equal time.  I think all you can do is offer each man an equal amount of time and leave it up to them whether to accept.  So your husband should invite his father to visit, and if his father declines, that's that.  Not your problem.[/quote]

1. He is a 60s hippie/Buddist and likes to talk about his beliefs a bit too much. Not something DH is used to. Other than talking about this, he is a man of a few words. And no, he is not a pothead.

2. Equal time is on offer. DHs fathet is just not interested. DH's view is I think that because I am not FILs no. 1 fan, but it's the truth.[/quote]

Well, I think your DH needs to suck it up.  Your mom's husband is a package deal with your mom.  But if he's telling the kids about his beliefs, that is something you can address with him.

2) Does your DH think you are treating your FIL badly in some specific way?  I would say call your DH's bluff.  Every time your DH brings it up, propose a weekend in the near future for his father to visit.

Honestly, it's probably making your DH really sad that his father isn't more interested.  My FIL is way more interested than my dad, and it's very disappointing to me.  [/quote]

He is not telling the kids anything I find offensive. What he does say just comes across as interesting stories.  AFAIK, the more different viewpoints the kids are exposed to, the better.

Re 2, this is pretty much what I do.  Part of the problem is that FIL always tends to show up at the last minute when we already have things scheduled, which I am not always willing to cancel to accommodate him.  The way I look at it, he does things in a way that are most convenient for him and I am going to do things in a way that are most convenient for me and my family.

I agree that it makes DH sad.  But he knows that I am not a big fan of FIL (frankly because of the way he treated DH in the past), so he will never admit it to me.  I have moved past my FIL issues enough to be polite to him.[/quote]

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