Reply to Help - I need a healthier perspective on getting together with in-laws

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[quote=Anonymous]•	Before we had kids a lot of the in laws had kids, so we did a lot of kid activities.  Now that DH and I have a toddler, everyone else seems to be done with kids activities....except for us.
[b]So you are saying that your child's grandparents don't want to do "kid stuff" with them? That seems awfully strange and sad.[/b]

•	DH and I typically have to travel the furthest and have the least vacation time.  We also seem to end up in random parts of fly over country that I would never dream of visiting anyway.
[b]You can get from NYC to LA in a little over 5 hours. Does that really cut into your vacation time that much? As for "fly over country" it is sad you would "never dream" of visiting some really beautiful places. [/b]

• At times everyone seems to do their own thing when we get together, so why did we fly there in the first place? 
[b]So you are noticing that people seem to "get busy" doing their own thing when you are around. Hmmm I wonder why. Maybe your child's grandparents would be up for an activity with them ... without you.[/b]

•	A lot of sarcasm and one SIL can't seem to say anything to my MIL without somehow criticizing my MIL's parenting style.  I was raised by a single mom so I know I am a little sensitive to criticism of moms.
[b]If the SIL is the child of your MIL don't involve yourself in their relationship. It is NOYB. If they are married to your MILs child, still NOYB but you can be kind and speak up in defense of your MIL ... who you dread visiting ... in those awful flyover states.[/b]

•	Extreme frugality BY CHOICE.  Nobody is rich, but no one is struggling either.  I grew up with constant financial stress, so I think their extreme frugality triggers the fear I felt as a kid, that things were about to go under at any moment. 
[b]Someone being frugal by choice should give you confidence that they have a plan in place and are not about to go under at any moment.[/b]

I would love to find a way to not dread seeing them.  Any suggestions?
[b]I suggest you stop visiting them and have them visit you on your own turf, if you have a miserable attitude you are just going to bring everyone else down.

You should also tell them to stop being so stingy ... that should go over well.[/b][/quote]

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