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[quote=Anonymous]When they ask about college, it would be so tempting to just say, "You need to ask your father about that."

That's not right though.

What you should do is get that piece spelled out in the divorce/custody decree.  If he actually spent all their college funds, he either needs to replace the money (perhaps through child support payments) over time or be totally responsible for financing their college education.  (However, even if it was decreed that he support college fund - have some money set aside if you can)

As far as what you should tell them about the circumstances of the divorce - you tell them nothing.  They don't need to know and you won't win a prize for destroying their illusions about their father.  When my kids have asked why I am not married to their father anymore, I just told them some times marriages just don't work out (they are 6).  Just find an age appropriate way to answer the question but to be vague.

As difficult as it might be, focus on supporting a healthy relationship between your children and their father - regardless of what he did to you and your family - an intact child-father relationship is important to their well-being.  And focus on your own healing.
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