Reply to Divorcing : what to tell kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry.

How old are your kids?

With regard to college, the vast majority of parents (married or not) have little or nothing saved, and the kids take out loans or get scholarships, or pursue less expensive options. I don't think you should tell your kids "dad spent your college money", but I think when the time comes (once they are in high school), you do tell them that there is no money saved, and you help them navigate their choices based on that.

As far as your current living situation, I think it's reasonable to tell them that you can no longer afford to do XYZ. Again, many parents (married or not) face this situation, either because of job loss, unexpected expense, medical issues, etc.

I think it's far better to teach kids to live within their means than to try to maintain their old standard of living while you go into debt.

But, I would not bad mouth your ex to your kids, including "daddy spent your college savings", or "daddy wants to be with someone else, so we have to live in separate houses". That's probably very difficult because it's not fair that their lives are changing, and you want to put the blame where it is due.

If you need vindication, know that one day, they will put two and two together.

Again, I'm very sorry. You'll get through this.[/quote]

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