Reply to Kids calling parent's new love Mom/Dad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, how old is your child?  I think it depends a lot on the age of the child when the relationship becomes serious.  I was 24 when my dad remarried and I like his wife but I don't consider her to be any kind of parent to me.

The thing to avoid at all costs is making the child choose.  So if one parent wants the step-parent to be called Mom, and the other parent doesn't, you have to work it out.  Don't place your child in an impossible situation where one parent will always be displeased.[/quote]

I agree with all of this as a child of divorced parents and as a stepmother. My stepdaughter was 4 when I came into her life and when I married my DH begged to call me "mommy" as my children did. We actively discouraged this out of respect to her mother, who absolutely forbid it. Lots of tears later and my stepdaughter explaining that she feels like the odd man out when she's at our home and calls me by my first name. She's 10 now and still calls me Mommy but lies to her mother about it to avoid upsetting her. It's all very sad really. I agree with respecting the parent by all means but if it causes that much torture for the kid, just let them do what they feel is right.[/quote]

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