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[quote=Anonymous]Did set A actually ask with a specific request/reason or are you assuming?

Some people cry poverty for attention or because there is a materialistic goal they want but can't meet.  (I.e. "Oh we can't afford the type of car we want. We are the poorest family on the street." Vs  real issue "dad has cancer and can't work. We can't afford to buy medicine because we lost our health insurance and can barely afford to eat.")

If it's a life or death situation or they are absolutely about to be homeless -- then (up to you but) helping them out in a true crisis might not be the end of the world.  But I agree with PP - if you can't pay your own bills, then it's not the time and place to give others money.

Also - my ILs are financially better off and are both retired. They have a beautiful house in an inexpensive city.  They can afford things like nicer gifts and have the time to travel and be more involved with the kids.  My parents are both still working, live in a city as or more expensive than DC in a tiny house,  they are both civil servants abd pack evey extra penny away for retirement and to pay high COL / taxes.  They see the kids evey 6 months.  You parents may be worse off -- but the point is that not everyone starts out on equal footing...

DCUM is a great example...all the posts about down payments from parents to buy million houses...vs folks drowning in student loans.[/quote]

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