Reply to s/o Does it mean something when men choose someone totally different from mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am in the same situation.  Trust me when I tell you that our DHs *absolutely, positively* made the decision to marry opposite their mothers on purpose. Whether it was conscious, subconscious, or otherwise - is for a professional therapist to decide.

My SILs are identical to MIL.  My DH really needed to get away from it.  I will leave it at that. [/quote]

Is your DH close to his mother and how does his mother feel about you? I think what confuses me about the situation is that MIL is DH's best friend apart from me. [/quote]

I encourage DH to call his mother, but DH often refuses.  I try to persuade DH to include and involve our children with MIL - MIL is not very interested. I encourage a happy relationship with MIL.  The problem is, MIL is kind of depressed, so any warmth or pleasantries are often rejected. MIL is not very supportive or positive. I am not close with her, she is not open to change, growing or people who are different. I try to embrace change, growth and new and different people and things at every opportunity; and I especially encourage this with our children.

My MIL is the type of MIL who tries to "fit in" with her bridge group (for example) by complaining about her DIL (me - DH's brothers will not marry, presumably).  Consequently, SILs children are the be all and end all, as far as MIL is concerned.  MIL is very much into distinguishing me as the "DIL" and SILs as the "daughters", in a negative fashion.  I believe this is mostly because the SILs are so much like MIL, in every way I can think of.

I am well aware that there are MIL types, perhaps depressed like my MIL, who are more than willing to lash out at DILs on this board.  I am hopeful there there are more nice MILs than not; and that I will always be a positive force in my children's lives. 
 [/quote]

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