Reply to What Should a Private School Do Stop Bullying?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thanks for the advice and sharing of experiences.  DH and I are not entirely on the same page on how to deal with this, so it's useful to hear the range of responses.  I think it might be useful to escalate it to the HOS now, rather than waiting.  DH thinks that we should wait a few weeks.  He says if there's an inadequate response from the teachers, we should just let DC fight back.

DC has a few years of Tae Kwon Do under his belt, so his not fighting back is because I asked him not to use physical means to solve this problem.  My concern is that if the school doesn't take verbal taunting seriously, then he will be labeled the "bad kid" for fighting back, the way my friend's child was.  I've heard that private schools sometimes decline to renew a contract for a child who is considered too problematic.  DC loves the school academically, so I don't want to risk that, at least not yet.  However, I"m not willing to let DC stay at a school that allows this kind of bullying to go on without intervention.

DH says that DC has a big personality, so he is going to attract conflict.  He said when he was a kid, there was a lot of fighting in the upper elementary grades as different boys vied for dominance.  DH thinks the bullies are focused on DC because he stands out.  He says the only way to take care of this is to allow DC to establish where he is on the hierarchy through physical means.  :roll:   This sounds neanderthal to me, and I'm hopeful that the school can find an effective way to respond.  I'm curious to hear from other parents of kids who were bullied, is allowing your kid to hit back the only way to respond if the school doesn't?

My frustration is that DC's teacher doesn't seem to treat it very seriously.  While she was the one to first draw our attention to the situation, since then her attitude seems to be that it will take time to see a change in behavior on the part of the bullies.  Based on my friend's experience, I don't think waiting and seeing is going to do much good.  She has so far not disciplined the bullies, just treated it like a group dynamic that will change if she keeps telling everyone to be nice.

What kind of interventions should I be asking for?  How long should I give her to work on it before I escalate it?

I know there was an anti-bullying coach mentioned on a DCUM thread not long ago. I did a search on bullying and came up with so many results that it will take me weeks to scan through them all.  Does anyone recall this thread or know this anti-bullying coach?

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