Reply to Taking the plunge (adoption)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You didn't talk at all about what kind of support network you'd have. Tell us about your village. Tell us about your savings. You realize this deaf kid in China may not speak ASL, right?

Generally foster agencies want people to foster who have the goal of the child reuniting with their biological family, not people who want to adopt. Are you going to be okay giving back a child you may have fallen in love with?

Also, 30 isn't old. You are only going to get older, and while a man might be psyched to marry a 34 or 37 yr old he might not be as enthusiastic to marry a 34 or 37 yr old with an adopted special needs child. So are you okay if you wind up NEVER getting married? Are you sure you won't wind up resentful of a child if they are the reason men break up with you when they find out you're dealing with a deaf Chinese boy who has RAD, for example?

I'm not anti-adoption, but it's a HUGE undertaking for a couple, and more than TWICE as hard for a single person. [/quote]

No, he would not know ASL. Chinese Sign Language is very different from ASL but he probably has no language at all, which isn't uncommon in international adoptions of deaf/hard of hearing kiddos. He was hosted in the US this past summer but not with a family who signed and I don't get the impression that he is currently given access to language or an education (but if I pursue it, I'll get more information about that). I've taught deaf kids with little to no language skills before - some from other countries and some from the US when hearing aids/CIs and whatever education they've had before failed them. It's not impossible for a 6 year old to acquire language but the earlier the better.

I wouldn't be resentful, I do know that. Adoption has been something that has been on my mind for years, so regardless of if/when I get married adoption would be in the picture and it would be a part of who I am. I do know it will be challenging, with or without a spouse.

As far as a support system - my sister currently lives with me and works nearby (she just moved from another state, so we're sharing my house). I have friends nearby, but the rest of my family lives pretty far from me. [/quote]

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