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[quote=Anonymous]I've witnessed horrible responses to bullying at our local public.  None of our DCs were targets but frIend's DC was.  The school basically did nothing but advise the boys to be good and repeatedly asked everyone to get along.  My friend's son, after being verbally taunted and physically roughed up for months finally snapped and hit the ringleader of the boys who were tormenting him.  Guess who got suspended, despite the school knowing the history and acknowledging there was extreme provocation?

One of our DCs started a new private school this year and has become the target of bullying.  Is it reasonable to expect a more effective responce from private schools, if for no other reason than they can kick out kids who persistently bully other kids?  We've had 2 meetings about the bullying with the teacher, one initiated by her, another by us to request a plan of action.  That was after DC came home with scratches and a bruise.

So far, the school's response consists of getting the parties together to talk and telling them they all need to play nice.   From what DC is reporting, the bullying has continued every day despite these meetings.  I don't want to subject DC to a full year of dealing with these bullies.  FWIW, I witnessed one  instance of verbal taunting myself.  These kids are pretty bold, and were not  at all deterred by the presence of a parent.

DC is at the lower school level. Most of the other kids have been together for a number of years.  DC is fairly bright and has made a very smooth adjustment academically.  His teacher has given us feedback that he's doing very well and is enthusiastic about learning.   DC has said that he is more challenged at his new school and is really likes it except for the bullies. DC has made friends with a number of sweet, also very bright boys.  Most of them are academically oriented and what you might call a bit nerdy.  None of them are fighters, although one of his buddies tried to help him stand up to the bullies and got pushed against a fence.

DC's personality is outgoing and gregarious, not at all shy.  His first response is to want to retaliate, but we've asked him not to do that and to call for help from his teacher.  After I saw thE scratches and bruise, I did have some second thoughts.   The bullies are good at catching DC when the teacher's attention is focused elsewhere.  She reacts after the fact without having witnessed what went down.

What kinds of interventions are effective and reasonable to expect of a private school?  I'd love to hear success stories of how parents and teachers worked together to stop bullying.

Also how long is it reasonable to give the school before we see results, I.e. Cessation of bullying?  A month?  Two months?  From my friend's experience, it seemed like if not addressed immediately, it just gets worse and worse.  How do you tactfully discuss with the school if you think their response is insufficient?  Are there anti-bullying resources or coaches out there?  [/quote]

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