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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's strange for me to think of her that way because she actually has a very low self-esteem. 
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Narcissism stems from trying to cover up low self esteem, so the two are very much related.

When I realized my dad is a narcissist, a lot of puzzle pieces fell into place.  I really ratcheted down how much I interact with him, and lowered my expectations of what I'll get from him, and things have been much better ever since.  Now I'm realizing my sister is probably also a narcissist (or perhaps even has Borderline Personality Disorder) and I'm learning about this all over again.  Since I have a different relationship with her I have to figure out a different set of boundaries.[/quote]

I am certain that my mother has anxiety/depression, possibly NPD.  Her behavior certainly fits the bill and has been escalating horribly.  This weekend was the first time when she did something hurtful to one of my (elementary-aged) children.  I've slowly been limiting contact but I realize now that things are at a different level.  It's one thing to criticize me incessantly.  It's another to hurt my kid.

For those of you who have sought therapy/outside help:

-How does your therapist help with boundary setting?
-Has anyone had success encouraging the parent to get help? If so, how did you approach?
-I'm in my 40s and don't have siblings.   How in the hell am I going to develop boundaries and simultaneously manage the parental caregiving process (as she ages)?
-Is there a correlation with dementia/alzheimer's and this behavior?  I vividly remember my maternal grandparents becoming "mean" as they aged.  I assumed that it was because of their aging/ailments.  But, perhaps there were underlying issues that I didn't see as the grandchild.....

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