Reply to How do you enforce the no BF rule ?

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[quote=Anonymous]I've got a rule that my son can't date til 16.   A lot of kids like this rule because it absolves them of the pressure to find a boyfriend or girlfriend.  But a lot of kids don't.  I don't know what camp he's in yet.  But along the way I've been teaching him what to look for in a girlfriend (kindness, empathy, responsibility, etc) and what he needs to be as a boyfriend (pretty much the same).   We talk a lot about healthy dating, and healthy relationships in general.

So if/when the time comes that he meets someone he wants to date, and it's before our "16" minimum, we can see if it's headed in a healthy direction in general.   And then we'd loosen that mandate.

In your case, since she's already got a boyfriend, I'd start discussing healthy dating, if you haven't already.  Let her know the emotional dangers it presents.  A first breakup can potentially feel like the end of the world and it can derail study.

The ideal situation is that it's someone who fits well with your daughter, and you can be inclusive as a family and welcome him in.   You don't want her dating in secret.  That allows too many potential hazards of all sorts.  [/quote]

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