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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for the responses.  We tried Karate/Tae Kwon Do and Scouts, but they didn't take.  DS does enjoy music, but in 6th grade the whole idea that school band can be his "group/clique" hasn't sunk in yet, although we have encouraged it.  He just doesn't have that one "thing" that is his and that he knows he's good at.  IMO, it's not enough that we encourage him to try new things and tell him not to worry about what his friends are doing.  He's smart enough to look around and see that his peers have something that they excel at and are known to be good at and he doesn't have that yet.   This is about making sure your child feels good about himself and builds self-esteem and confidence.  I think it's more difficult when your kid doesn't have that something.[/quote]

My good friend constantly complains about that very same thing to me, and honestly, it's starting to grate. Why is it an expectation that a child would have a passion and excel at it? Why can't kids be respected for being reasonably good at many things, even if they're not publicly recognized for it? If your child feels low-self-esteem and a lack of an extra oomph, he just needs time to come to terms with himself, which is normal. 11 year olds can't be expected to find a sense of self easily.
You have to keep on encouraging him and one day, he will understand that he is much better at certain things than others, and that he doesn't need to win.

My child is gifted and also has disabilities. There hasn't been one thing in his life he is average at, because he's either failing or way beyond grade level. That comes with enormous confusion and often conflict and misunderstandings for everybody, including him, and it's not easy to manage. My point is, we should all be grateful for what we have, and the grass isn't always greener.

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