Reply to At risk 17 year oLd - need help desperately

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[quote=Anonymous]I would not take him out of school. If he is going and can graduate (even if his grades are not what they should be), you should encourage that. What will he do if he is not in school? He will be home and you will be at work and there will be way too many idle hours on his hands. (I am dealing with this situation myself.) Also, even if his engagement with his schoolmates is limited, more social contact is almost always better.

I do think counseling would help. I'm not sure where you are, but Rathbone and Associates in Bethesda has several great therapists who specialize in adolescent boys.

We have been dealing with this for several years and attempted school changes and various other things that did not help. What finally helped was a good psychiatrist who diagnosed depression and anxiety, a neuropsych exam which showed us some learning style issues (not LDs per se but areas of difficulty) and ADD. (Totally surprised by that.) I'm not saying your DS has any of these issues (or any issues at all), but we wandered around in the weeds for a very long time before assembling the team that really helped us.

As far as your interactions with him, we have had a great deal of conflict during this time and one of the many turning points was taking a Dan Shapiro class which emphasized building and strengthening the relationship with your teenager. If you want him to listen to your advice, you have to build/strenghten bonds with him on many other levels first. Support him, understand that he his trying to figure life out and although he is making choices that you don't always agree with, let him know that you love him and are with him in this process.

Good luck. I totally get how stressful this is.
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