Reply to Custody agreement - clauses regarding school attendance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with PP.  Retinal your energy into something more productive.  You are actually coparenting with a man who wants to spend high quality time (vacations) with his kid.  Focus on the wonderful benefits that your DC will reap from having a loving and involved dad.

I am living the flip side of your problem.  I have my DS 95% of the time and his father tried to get out of his custody time every chance he gets.  It makes my life easier in that I don't have to run any decisions by him (because he just really isn't involved or interested at this point), but DS lacks the love and support of a truly involved father.

Coparenting with an ex who is actively involved is much harder for  you.  It means that there will be many disagreements about what is best and what is acceptable.  When you run into these issues, try to step back and ask yourself, "What is in the best interests of DC" as opposed to "What do I think is the best way to parent".

When we divorce, we lose the right to make unilateral decisions about parenting issues.  As PP pointed out, missing school for trips is something that reasonable people disagree on.  Many people feel that the value of travel in terms of a learning and cultural experience outweighs a little missed time from school.  Others, like you, feel that education should be the #1 priority.  Both sides have valid points.  Neither side is right or wrong.

Good luck, OP.  Exes are a pain in the ass -- but at least he is an involved and loving father.[/quote]

Thank you for this reminder. Generally, I agree with you. I guess my bottom line is that if he's taking her out of state, I should at the very least be notified about it. He does not seem to think that that is important, despite it being in the agreement we already have. Given some other structural changes in his life lately, I thought it would make sense to revise the agreement and wanted to address these things in that revised agreement.

Fortunately I already have a call scheduled with my lawyer, so I will just ask her :)[/quote]

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