Reply to The "sister" I never wanted

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[quote=Anonymous]So the title is a misnomer - I'm an only child.  My mom always wanted more kids but it didn't happen.  For the past 20 years or so (since I was a teen) she's "adopted" (figuratively, not literally) other young women and call them/treat them like they are her kids.  These aren't people who are in a rough spot -- most are more privileged than we are and come from stable homes.

My issue is not that my mom is filling a void. It's that she CONSTANTLY compares me to these women in a negative way. "Sally can eat anything she wants and is always a size 2. It looks like you've put on some weight". well, Sally doesn't share your genetics or Grandmas love of cake.  "Molly just married a multimillionaire hedge fund manager."  Sorry, my DH and I are solidly middle class...  "Sarah just bought a beach house in the Hamptons and are taking us for the weekend". Sorry mom, my extra money goes to my grad school student loans - Sarah had a trust fund...i didn't.

I just roll my eyes. The examples I gave are pretty mild compared to the weekly jabs. I'm not jealous - I've been through years of therapy to come to terms with the fact that I'll never live up to my parents expectations. I'm actually doing fine - I went to good schools, I've risen quickly in my career, own a home, have a loveky family - never got into any trouble or asked for anything.

My DH thinks this needs to stop since my mom is living in la la land.  We have a baby on the way and he is worried that my mom will do it to the kid.

Would you say something? How would you handle it? I don't want my kid to go through what I did. (Aka "You only got an A? Jessica got an A+. Why can't you be more like her?")

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