Reply to Fundamentalist "Believers" next door pressuring us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]With a fourth child on the way, I'd be concerned that this family is starting to think of your home as a defacto daycare. Beyond the religion selling, this would bother me too. You need to get a handle on this before yet another child is born. [/quote]

YES you figured out another concern...!  Luckily our yards are large enough that we treat them like additional rooms in the house so they're to stay outside but still...they try to get indoors when possible.  I've tried not to judge the constant spontaneous "playdates" as desperate attempts at socialization.  And not everyone can afford the many after school activities on offer.  But they also have no one else over unless its a church-related event which we know is on a rotating schedule b/c they've invited us.  Its worrying also because we've lived in other countries and I've had friends of many ethnicities, nationalities, religions and the mothers have all believed in playdates.  Playdates are essential to socialization unless a child gets this through daycare or relatives or otherwise spends the day getting outside-the-home experiences.  This is the first household I've ever been close to that does not have regular playdates/daycare/supplemental experience exposure.  Again, I'm attributing this to their religious beliefs but could be wrong.

And often I'm thinking if the mom would just acknowledge their affection for / interest in our home, which they obviously have, it might help smooth things over.  Its the twisted "I'm going to pretend I don't know my kids adore you all and your home while I try to talk them out of it until you fundamentally follow the bible or at least join our church (where I can control you)..." approach.  What most posters are assuming too is that the kids are getting these messages about us at home.  I'd guessed that as well - thanks for the reality check.  So it had stung that they praise my husband and talk about how nice he is and treat me like the meany.  My husband has caught on though and is happy to take on "bad cop" role.

I think the repetitive messages everyone has shared are our best approach.  They're ante-drama.  They're boring and factual and clear.  If they ignore such unambiguous messages we can consider a Plan B.[/quote]

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