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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry my tablet went wonky and returned before the bulk of my message. I don't have a good relationship with my father. If my mom passed, I'd probably speak to him once a year out of pity and it would be incredibly awkward. I feel badly about that though because as an adult, I can see that my birth kind of ruined his life. They were 21 when they had me and dropped out of college to do so. My mom wanted the baby and (I suspect) my dad wanted my mom. For many years they worked as a mechanic and a waitress. They eventually worked their way into "real" careers but I don't think they ever enjoyed what they did. So I feel bad that they felt pressured to give up whatever potential they might have had to raise me.

They weren't the best parents in the world but I can see now that they probably weren't well equipped emotionally to do it and that they did the best they could with limited resources. Still, that doesn't change the problems I have with my father and how he treats me. It makes me more ambivalent than I might be though because I don't think he should have made the decision he did. He shouldn't have had kids. He's not a "kid" person at all. He never played with us growing up and he doesn't play with his grandkids now. He shows no interest in us. Because of that, we barely have a relationship. I feel no real connection to him (outside of my mom who I am close to). I start to get mad when I think about this but it peters out when I circle back to the thought that my conception and birth ruined his life. Then I start to feel guilty about his wasted life and potential.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here. Just wondering if anyone can relate I guess. [/quote]

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