Reply to When the wife tells you (female friend) to stay away from her husband

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[quote=Anonymous]I've had this male friend for about 17 years.  When we first met, we went on a few dates but we didn't live in the same city and we mutually decided that we weren't feeling enough sparks to start a relationship and since then our entire relationship has been via phone.  He came to my wedding 11 years ago and once my husband and I had a layover in his city and he came to the airport and we had lunch.  Those are the last two times I laid eyes on him.  I'm happily married but he is not.  He eloped maybe 5-6 years ago and he has 3 kids.  It's one of those relationships that looked like a train wreck - he was about to break up with her but that day found out she was pregnant, ended up doing the "right thing" and has seemingly hated it all along.  He used to complain a lot about his wife, that she was jealous and controlling and wouldn't let him have any female friends and also not very many male friends.  He wasn't supposed to have lunch with female colleagues.  She's very religious, he's not, etc.  It's unfortunate because he's very outgoing and gregarious and she's a homebody.  He would complain about these things and my response was generally that he should leave, or he should accede to her wishes, or he should tell her where he won't and let her decide whether to stay or go.  At the time, he said that she said I was ok because we were never in physical contact.  At some point several years ago he told me he was going to make a decision to be happy and stop complaining.  He pretty much never mentioned, or at least never complained about, her again.  Our conversations - maybe twice a month - are usually about politics, current events, things like that.   Neither of us has ever been inappropriate, flirty, nothing.  The conversations are not particularly important to me, but i can tell they are to him. Until recently, he's been one of the long time unemployed, plus with the kids and his forced small social circle, I think he's lonely.  A few days ago he called and said he was on his way to lunch with a female colleague.  I made a little joke - didn't your wife say that wasn't allowed - and he said that he decided he was going to do what he wanted, secretly, and as long as he was not cheating he had decided that he wasn't going to give in to unreasonable demands.  I said "that's going to end badly", but his lunch appointment arrived and he hung up.  Today he called and said that he and his wife had been discussing it and he had decided that our friendship was over and we were not to communicate anymore.  I said ok, but if you change your mind, you know where to call me and good luck.  A few minutes later I got a text from the wife saying he was not going to change his mind and I was never to speak to him again.  I responded that i understood and good luck with his family.  Finally, my question:...I know he's going to call me at some point.  Do I hang up?  I figure he's pretty much alone but it's not really my problem and I don't want any drama.    [/quote]

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