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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My family of origin is very high achieving -- a lot of Ivy League degrees and a lot of success, but a lot of coldness and dysfunction. I look at my "Uncle Fred" who is much less successful and less educated than my parents and whom my parents have always basically sneered at, but his kids are close, loving, and attentive to each other and to their parents.  Am I romanticizing this?  My family is successful and smart and I share my parent's political values but I don't feel my sibs are there for me, or that my kids have cousins who are there for them, other than Uncle Fred and the second cousins.  Thoughts?[/quote]

My family is the same way.  A boatload of degrees and high powered career highlights, but not a thimbleful of sense when it comes to basic human interactions and the meaning of family.  At any given time, there are so many warring factions that, except for my siblings, I just don't invite any of my relatives to anything any more.

I already know that I am going to treat my children lovingly and raise them to treat others kindly first and foremost.  Degrees mean nothing when held by mean, heartless people whose marriages and lives have crumbled around them.  The personality traits that ruin families will also destroy the rewards of high achievements in the end.  My parents squandered over a million dollars dragging each other through a nasty years-long divorce and they tanked the value of their properties to spite each other.  Now, both have their finances in shambles and much less accomplished people have far exceeded them.[/quote]

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