Reply to Divorce etiquette. What happens to former bil?

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[quote=Anonymous]My sister left her husband of 10 years for an affair with a friends husband. They moved in with each other about 3 weeks into the ordeal without any seperation papers being filed on either part. I love my BIL but I was not married to him. He was a sh*t husband, so I understand the divorce. But not the affair. Both the ex wife of the other man and my former BIL are understandably angry so there has been a lot of threats, yelling, just uncomfortable all around. I haven't spoken to BIL since this began because I tried to stay out of it.

His birthday was today and I texted him and said DH and I missed him. He was our best friend. DH is going crazy without his buddy. We did everything with them. He asked if we could get dinner soon and I said sure. But when I told my sister she got really angry and said it was disrespectful to her and her new partner that we would entertain him during such a tragic event. We are their children's god parents and he has been a part of our lives for 10 years as well. I am torn. Do I just avoid BIL? Or stay neutral? My parents have him over all the time and even took him to the beach with the kids. It is a strange situation for sure.[/quote]

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