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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know what to do anymore. My husband is a good man and i know he loves me but [b]its all about him all the time[/b] and I'm at the end of my ropes. I have been with him for 9 years, married for almost 2 and he has pretty much always been selfish but because I'm an easy going person it didn't bother me as much as it does now. Eventually you get tired of never being a priority.We eat where he wants to eat, we vacation where he wants to vacation (although we vacation a lot, which is great... It's always on his terms). I have a good life compared to a lot of people but I went from making 70k a year to making half of that.... Before [b]when he would say no[/b], I would go out and buy whatever I wanted on my own. We bought a fixer upper a year ago and just moved in a month ago, it was nothing short of a nightmare. I have spent sleepless nights on the computer pricing out anything from windows to furniture to tiles. Everytime I would find something he would pick it apart do if have to find something else. This is still going on because we are still not done. Tonight I found a bedroom set but I could never just find something and have him give me the card and I could buy it, I have to show him, [b]he has to approve it[/b] which is only after a week of looking till 3am and then I'm half out of my mind. Needless to say we got into a fight. I feel like I'm losing my mind. [b]I don't have access to his credit cards, we don't have joint bank accounts and he wants me to have children.[/b] Frankly [b]I'm scared to death[/b] because I can't imagine living my life at home with a child begging my husband for 5 bucks song can buy a coffee. In the meantime I spend my days trying to figure out what I can do to better my life as a soul entity because we aren't a team and anytime I even come to him with an idea[b] he blows me off[/b] and it's like talking to a wall. I'm a realtor but it varies so often it's hard to have a steady income. Not to mention my husband only wants to hang out in groups, he never wants to go on a date night with him and I alone. The only way I get my own way on a Saturday is if I call and say it was our friends idea. I have tried to have numerous conversations with him about this but h[b]e's vacant, he doesn't care and i really don't think I could live like this anymore[/b] but I love him I just want more than that. I want a partner, a teammate, someone that cares to make me happy and even if it's not what he wants to do he does it anyways because it makes me smile. I'm literally lost, I'm 29 years old, I have a shaky career, a spouse that's [b]cares about no one but himself[/b], I don't know what else to do accept come on this blog and ask for advice [/quote]

I have bolded the reasons why you should not - I repeat SHOULD NOT - have children with this man. Every single thing you mentioned will get worse with children.

In fact, honestly, I think that you should leave him. You're young and it would be easy. You don't even have joint finances that you would have to separate. Did you pay into the house? If so, have a lawyer get that investment back for you. If not, honestly, just walk away.

You can build your career up and would probably have an easier time doing that if you were not staying up until 3am worrying about bedroom sets and getting your husband's permission to decorate your own house.[/quote]

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