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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't talk about yourself if you can help it.  Talk, but ask them questions.  Ask about every random relative or friend you can think of.  Comment on current events (if you can without a fight) and the weather.  Talk about their lawn.  Talk about their favorite places to eat (not yours, don't mention the places you like).

My MIL has made comments that she think my DH and I act "superior" to them.  They are annoyed we won't take their horrific financial advice, like live beyond your means on credit cards.  But really it comes down to insecurity.  She wants us to really NEED her and her advice, but it's pretty clear we are doing much better than they are without her (terrible) advice.  So she's ragingly insecure.  I solve this by not talking about our choices at all if I can help it.  We talk about just about anything else and since she doesn't care to ask me many questions about myself, she knows very little about me.  Oh well, that's her loss.[/quote]

This.

But also, try to find what few things that you do share and talk about that.  With one relative that I don't share much in common, we do both enjoy cooking, so I try to look out for recipes that she might like and when we see each other, we talk about cooking.  I'll say things like "I found a new cobbler recipe that I think you'll like."  or "I just read this great tip on how to X".  My wife and mother often talk about our kids, since Mom doesn't live too close and does like to hear about what they're doing when she doesn't see them more than 2-3 times a year.

In general, while it is work, I have maintained several friendships by slowly getting to know them and then trying to learn a little bit about things important to them each time before I see them.  It's helpful with people you have to have a relationship with (like your in-laws) that you don't know much about.  So, ask her about her job, what she does when she has a little spare time, and try to be at least mildly conversant on those topics.  Google is your friend to help you do a little research on any topic the night before you see someone.[/quote]

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