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[quote=Anonymous]And by carpooling, I mean, I'd be helping another mom with no reciprocation...

Background: I have a chronic invisible illness.  I manage it by being a SAHM, managing my stress levels, and not taking on too much.  I have limited help (cleaning crew twice/month), and I do some volunteer work that I love.

DH has a new job that puts the full morning routine on me. Previously, he was able to help quite a bit, which was great - I generally sleep 30 minutes past the kids and am slow to warm up in the morning.  I'll need to do all the morning stuff now, and I should be able to do it.

Kids have some very minor stuff going on, anxiety, etc - I know there's an easy answer "have the kids make their own b-fast and lunch", but part of our plan from the developmental ped is to make their mornings low stress.

So.  DD has a new activity this year that meets before school.  Think Girl on the Run, where it's an activity, but also a bit of a sense of belonging, so not just an extra random enrichment class.

I received a group e-mail saying "Betty" needs a ride in the mornings in order to participate.  Betty lives on the next street and is the eldest in her large family. No one else in the activity lives nearby.  Obviously, the thing to do is to volunteer to drive her.  I mean, I feel so selfish for not responding immediately.  But this just feels like extra stress on an already extra stressful morning.  If "someone" (is there even anyone else who would do it?) can't bring Betty, then Betty can't participate.

What kind of boundaries can I set for bringing her in the morning?  I'm imagining scenarios where we are running 5 minutes late, or when she isn't quite ready.  What then?  Betty's mom has her hands full (and her vehicle full) with her children, and can't take turns with me.[/quote]

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