Reply to Teen Son and Weight Insecurity

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Teen Son and Weight Insecurity"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My 15 YO DS is not a skinny kid by any means, he is 5 foot 8 and 173 pounds, and has always tracked as overweight/chubby since he was around 8. We have talked with him, offered him gym memberships and our help if he wants to get more fit, but never really pushed him to lose weight.

He's also always been active, playing sports recreationally and he was never a couch potato, nor did he eat poorly. The odd fast food meal here and there ad ormal sacking, and we have been very open about healthy foods/eating well. We sit down for dier every day, always plenty of veggies and fruits, generally meat grilled or baked with veggies of sort sort and water/milk. The point is that it really isn't his diet so much as genetics. His father is very similar - broadly built with a bit of a belly but generally healthy and in good shape.

Anyway, recently his insecurity about his weight has gotten worse (he always has been a bit insecure about his weight, it doesn't help that he has a (non-identical) twin brother who is built a bit smaller, he has always made a passing remark here and there about it, especially when the brother will joke, mostly well meaning, about it). But on Thursday we decided to take advantage of the fact that their private school doesn't start until a week after DCPS and take the family to the beech, and he has made the trip pretty unbearable.

He used to love the beach and swimming in the waves, etc. We would go to the beach and me and DH would be actually peeved because all the kids wanted to do was stay at the beach sunrise to sunset. But this year he has refused to go to the beach at all. on Thursday it was just that he was tired from the car ride and wanted to settle in, but today he flipped out when we suggested going to the beach saying that he didn't want to take off his shirt and show everyone on the beach that he was fat, saying that if we didn't "fatten him up" he wouldn't have to not go ad lashed out at us. Being reasonable people we pointed out he could just wear his shirt to swim, or hang out with us on the shore and maybe wade a bit, to which he said that, "Only fatasses wear their shirt to swim so it would be just the same." And locked himself int his room at the house we rented.

Because the other kids (twin and 12 YO DS) wanted to go, we told him we would go to the beach and left him $20 and a note saying to go to the movies or get ice cream, or something and to call us if he changed his mind and we would come and pick him up (Beach is a car ride away).

We got back a few hours later and he was still in his room. When he got out he got pissed at us and said that the note was awful and all we wanted was for him to go spend $20 on ice cream so we could all come home and continue to make him feel fat and left out (As a note, in retrospect the ice cream comment might have been overboard, but I put it on there as buying ice cream is normally a treat reserved for special occasions in our house, and going to the nice ice cream shop is a family tradition at the beach).

I'm just surprised, he's never been this vocal about his weight. He's mentioned a few times that he might be interested in losing a bit of weight - and we have encouraged him to do so if he wants and tried to help him - but he never follows through on it/always decides its not worth it after a day or two. If this keeps up I can see this beach trip being pretty painful and argumentative, he's already lashed out at his twi when his twin told him that nobody gave a shit if he wore a shirt or not and most people wouldn't even notice he was fat, and I swear he almost slapped his younger brother after DS12 commented that, "Most people at the beach are even fatter then you" (Yes, I will have to find a punishment for that comment as well).

I just don't know how to handle it, you might not believe me but this all came out of nowhere ad I have to assume that it is stemming from something, I just can't think of what.

Please help!  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics