Reply to Where Do I Go for Help? 7 yr old behavior problems

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Where Do I Go for Help? 7 yr old behavior problems"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

2. Prioritize the bad behaviors- me, right now, I can live with eye rolling and even some disrespect as long as DS does what he's asked. The respect is important too, but a lower priority if your DS is openly defying you.

3. Reward and openly praise good behavior-- even if good behavior only means not deliberately annoying a family member for 1/2 hour or doing something that's been asked without a fight. You may notice that the more negative and critical you get-- the worse your son acts? It's a sign of lagging skills. He may need explicit praise for certain behaviors so he knows what to repeat.

Good luck!  [/quote]

When I was a middle school teacher, I learned to let the eye-rolling and heavy sighs go. It just wasn't a hill I wanted to die on. I took it as a way for the kid to express his/her feelings. Yes, disrespectful, but by telling them they couldn't do it 1) I was telling them they couldn't have that feeling and 2) it gave these little behaviors more power. So you could eye-roll and huff and puff all you wanted as long as you cleaned your area before you left the classroom.

I also had to find ways to praise them for doing the things I wanted them to. But also be aware of the best way to praise them. I found class clown types did not want to be praised in front of their peers. They liked the praise, but would act twice as bad the next day if I praised them publicly. So I would often call them to my desk as if they were in trouble (very stern, mean voice). Then very quietly tell them, "I noticed you helping Sally, I really appreciate that." Then saying very loudly (and a wink), "Don't Ever DO that AGAIN". They totally ate it up. They got points with their peers for being 'bad' and their inner child got praised for being good.

So 1) figure out the minimum you expect from him. Behaviors you are willing 100% die on that hill. Pick only a few. You need some wins in your column, so keep them easy. 2) Figure out his punishment currency. Time outs aren't it. Take away screen time. Take away toys that he has to earn back. 3) Find the best way to praise him. He might need it immediately, as it's happening. Or he might like it better later on like when going to bed, you list all the things you noticed him doing.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics