Reply to Where Do I Go for Help? 7 yr old behavior problems

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[quote=Anonymous]This seems like a job for Kazdin! I think OP, that your son sounds defiant, possibly oppositional of it's been going on for a long time. Like others, I would rule out causes like ADHD-- defiance is extremely common with kids who have ADHD. It's why it's being suggested- not that every kid who acts out has ADHD. Speaking as a parent who has a defiant son with ADHD, here are some tips if it helps:

1. Don't engage-- when you "no" don't justify or explain your decisions to your son. Calmly make it clear that he is expected to do/not do what you have requested, or there will be a loss of privilege. Follow through. Later, explain your reasoning so that your DS understands- don't engage *at all* in the heat of the moment. A defiant kid is looking for a fight and anything you say will provide an opening.

2. Prioritize the bad behaviors- me, right now, I can live with eye rolling and even some disrespect as long as DS does what he's asked. The respect is important too, but a lower priority if your DS is openly defying you.

3. Reward and openly praise good behavior-- even if good behavior only means not deliberately annoying a family member for 1/2 hour or doing something that's been asked without a fight. You may notice that the more negative and critical you get-- the worse your son acts? It's a sign of lagging skills. He may need explicit praise for certain behaviors so he knows what to repeat.

Good luck!  [/quote]

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