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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm so sorry! I hope it is early stage and your treatment plan is encouraging.

Here's what I would do - and I understand if this isn't quite right for your family dynamics.

Inlaws: I would have my DH call and tell them once you have all the information, and I'd ask him to tell them that I need some space to process things right now and if they want to send any messages, to do it through him or send via text/email. And then I'd set up a filter so emails went into a folder I could look at on my time, I'd give directions on how much I wanted DH to tell me, and if texts got out of control I might temporarily turn them off from those people.

My mom: I would unfollow her on Facebook so I didn't need to see what she was posting about the stress. Not unfriend, but just unfollow so it doesn't pop up. Depending on your relationship with brother/SIL, perhaps they would agree to be your mom's sounding board. Tell her that you really need to focus on staying positive (prove to be helpful during treatment!) and if she needs to worry and vent, you totally understand but she needs to call brother/SIL.

Basically, I would set up pre-emptive boundaries, and if people crossed them - I'd get real firm, real quick about enforcing them. Only you can decide what those boundaries are, but it is absolutely appropriate for you to tell people what you need from them right now and just remove yourself from situations where they aren't giving it to you.

The book Boundaries by Henry Cloud may be helpful, if you ever need some encouragement in this area.

Again, sending you good thoughts for healing. [/quote]

Cancer patient here and I think the above is really good advice. One of the things I have learned is that once I choose to share my diagnosis, I don't get to control how others will experience it. The only thing I can do is be explicit about my boundaries and protect myself from their reactions if they choose to make it about them. You will need all your strength in the months ahead, OP, and you don't need to take care of others or deal with their reactions to your very personal, difficult time. Your job is to take care of yourself and to surround yourself with supportive people who will concentrate on helping you get what you need to get through this.

Personally, I would advise you not tell difficult family members what you're going through. No one is entitled to deeply personal medical knowledge. However, depending on how often you see them, that may not be an option. That's why, if you have to share your diagnosis with these family members, establishing and enforcing boundaries is critical.

Also, sending you good, healing thoughts.[/quote]

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