Reply to WAPO piece from adoptive mom to teacher

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[quote=Anonymous]Asian adoptee here.

She raises good points.  Adoption language is ever-evolving, but the word "real" to describe someone's birth parents is never correct.  And yes, I was, and still am as an adult, asked frequently about my "real" parents.

Personally, I had no issues with doing a family tree- I used my adoptive family's information, and no one ever challenged me on whether that was ok or not (besides, I didn't know anything about my birth family so there was no info to use).  But I was ok with not knowing...other adoptees can have a very, very difficult time with not knowing their birth roots.  Same with baby pictures.  For some adoptees, bringing in baby pictures is impossible and that can raise a host of issues with young children.  I don't think the author is saying ban those activities, just that she ask that there be awareness and sensitivity surrounding choices.

I'm also an adoptive mother.  I wouldn't have written a letter in such a public manner, but have also struggled with what to tell my children's teachers about their being adopted (I never share their story, as it's theirs to tell and not mine).  I've asked teachers who are also adoptive parents their thoughts and most have suggested that they would appreciate a head's up.

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