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[quote=Anonymous]I was in the place that you were.  I was kind of depressed on my 35th birthday because I was actually farther from the married w/ kids dream than I had been at 25.  I had been putting pressure on myself to find "the guy" and I didn't feel like I had any control over it.  And I was tired of stressing out.  So I just decided that I was done worrying about having a baby.  If I didn't have a kid, so what.  I wouldn't do IVF/IUI or whatever.  If I met a great guy, great.  But I wasn't going to live against a time deadline anymore.

Weirdly, I got accidentally pregnant right before I turned 36.  So then I had a whole new list of things to stress about, like getting broken up with while pregnant, and whether I should get an abortion, and how I was going to handle a baby on my own, financially and otherwise.

I had the baby.  I won't lie, it's hard.  Single parenthood isn't for pussies.  (And my ex ended up deciding to coparent with me, so I have it easier than some, at least a couple days a week when he's not deployed.)  I have really not dated, though, since I had her, and that is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  All these people told me that I'd meet all these single and divorced dads, and that really hasn't been the case.  Those guys are out there, but they are all dating my child-free friends who have the free time to find and date them.

So you may have to decide if you would rather be a mother or a wife, because you may have to pick one.  Not trying to be negative, just saying that most of the single-by-choice moms I know remain single.[/quote]

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