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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone, my mom is 68 and yes she talks to herself and pretty much curses my dad, her dad etc. on a daily basis. Last few years as i have become assertive after having a family life myself, i stand up to her and dont buy in everything she says. She likely resents this as she has been very controlling and i have been submissive as a child and teen and till 25, basically agreeing with whatever she said. Past 1 year I have been limiting calls etc, but she can easily call 5+ times a day right at 9 am or in the middle of the work day and she expects me to drop everything and talk to her. And[b] i *have* to send money by 5th of every other month[/b].
Either ways i was always a sucker for her sob stories and helplessness and once i left and saw more of the world, i understand her selfishness, but hearing it first hand a day before childbirth and surgery is really hard.

I am sure she will downplay everything she said, or come up with a great justification for it and expect me to have a relationship again and be the bad person. I just hope i am strong enough and have enough self respect to resist, especially against her show of helplessness and martyrdom.

Thank you for your kind words.[/quote]

You have taken great steps towards becoming an independent woman. Do you think it's possible that while you're on maternity leave, you could go to a family therapist for help on setting boundaries with your mom? Look at what you said that I bolded. Why? What will happen if you don't send the money? Will your mom kill you? How will she get here if she doesnt have the money for a plane ticket since you didn't send her one? Bwah ha ha! You CAN block her phone number. She can't control you if you're not dependent on her. She's in a whole different country. Maybe you want to let your dad know what you're going to do so he's prepared to hear her rant about you and he doesn't worry if she says "I can't get in touch with Larla; she's not answering her phone!"

You don't HAVE to send her money. [/quote]

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