Reply to What to say to friend with Failed adoption?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell them to keep going.  Lots of people have failed adoptions and then go on to have successful adoptions.  Two months after our failed adoption, I had a newborn in my arms.[/quote]

You were very lucky.[/quote]

I know.[/quote]

You realize telling someone what you said makes people who are not successful like you feel 1000 times worse.[/quote]

The point is to let them know there is hope for success, and give them the courage to go on.[/quote]

That meets your need not theirs.  Plenty of people try for many years to adopt and don't for what every reason.  To hear that, which we did often made me feel far worse as you have to wonder what is wrong with you that you are not chosen.  Big difference in telling a story of I tried for 4-6 years, many failures and finally was successful vs. oh, we tried for a year, had a failed adoption and got a kid two months later, especially when the person is 2-3 years into trying and spent a small fortune.  You don't get it.  [/quote]

No, you are the one who doesn't get it.  You are the one who is making this post about you.  You are the one who is imagining that it didn't take years for us to get to the failed adoption, that it didn't take thousands of dollars to get there, that we weren't crushed at the fall-through, that we didn't devote every waking moment to pursuing other opportunities after that.  That is our story.  It's real.  I'm not going to make up a fanciful story when OP's friend can be inspired by the truth.

But I'm done arguing with you.  I have better things to do.[/quote]

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