Reply to How much do you owe your parents if they have been making stupid decisions?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How much do you owe your parents if they have been making stupid decisions?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My mother has been making bad decisions for the last 20 years or so and is now beginning to have difficulty living alone.

She walked out on my dad after almost 30 years of marriage (around age 50).  My sisters ad I still don't really understand what happened.  Yes, I'm angry about this still.

When she left she had no financial plan how she was going to make it on her own and had no place to live--ie she had not it through.

She quit her federal job sometime in her late 50s because she hated working and didn't like her coworkers.  She had no other source of income.

After quitting her job she did not do anything other than a little travel to engage her mind--no part-time job, no volunteering, no classes.
She lives in a rural area and spends a lot of time watching tv and going to Walmart.

She had 3 major joint replacement surgeries, which in my estimate were unnecessary.  She didn't exercise, didn't like the aches and pains of getting old and trusted her doc that the surgeries would fix everything.  The surgeries (two hips and a knee) have resulted in a horrible limp and neuropathy to the extent that she can barely walk or drive.  She recently broke her arm in a fall, returned to the same doc and the arm is now failing to heal properly.  She refuses to get a second opinion.

Her SFH is becoming unmanageable and she needs a lot of help.

My two sisters live close to her but have full plates (as do I) want to have a family meeting and "do something."  I don't think there's anything to do. She's not willing to be responsible for her decisions and she is still fully mentally competent so it's not like we can get power of attorney.  In addition, there is very little money.  She's living off a reverse mortgage and social security. `

I am so angry at the stupid, stupid decisions she's made over the years.  She's only in her early 70s.  Her situation is so sad and I'm also so sad that the person I knew growing up is gone yet it's not like she has any kind of dementia either.  I go back and forth between thinking she needs to do this or that, then remembering that she just does what she wants anyway, and thinking let her deal with the consequences of her own stupid actions.

Has anyone dealt with a not-so-elderly parent who acts ancient and has basically just given up?  Part of me thinks this kind of passive behavior is an attempt to get us involved in her life on a daily basis, which is simply not possible.  What kind of middle ground possibilities are there for seniors who need assistance but not assisted living?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics