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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, BTDT. My mom died in August. In March my dad told us he was dating. About a week later he was engaged and they married in May. My mom hadn't even been dead a year. It was crushing. We tried to be supportive but there were a lot of fights. It was a horrible time for everyone involved. My friend told me to focus on the fact that when people remarry so quickly it is because they had a good marriage and want to be in one again.

This was all 10 years ago. I could have handled things better. She does make my Dad happy and that is a good thing. He is now in poor health and I am glad she is there to take care of him rather than me or my siblings. But we aren't close and she has her own kids who she focuses on. It is a really sad situation for everyone involved.

So sorry you are dealing with this. [/quote]

PP, I'm glad to hear that it seems to have worked out for your family now that your step-mom is there for your ailing dad.  OP,  i've also been there.  My parents were together since they were 15.  She died after 7 months of the most drawn out horrific battle with a chronic condition (sick of and on for years before this).  Dad remarried but (since he lives overseas) never told kids exactly when it occurred.  We were not upset to not have been invited.  Where we come from stepparents/adult stepkids generally do not have relationships.  What was shocking to us was how soon it could have occurred.  He obviously was embarrassed by how quickly he may have done it, since he won't confirm the exact timing of it.  What's made it a bit more complicated is that she apparently has an adult child, and my siblings and I are very cognizant of the fact that she may try to influence my dad to give her son something, should she survive my dad.  Who knows.  Maybe she'll try to squeeze us all out?

I guess this is wrong, but I've always said that I could accept the idea of my mom remarrying over my dad (perhaps b/c we were always closer to my mom).

Although, I am not crazy about how this all went down, I do have to say that in some ways I understand it better now.  A cousin-in-law (her deceased spouse was my cousin) lost her husband just before my passed away (wow almost 14 years now) and she was only 38 (was and still is very, very pretty/attractive) and my cousin's family (sisters and aunt) seemed to think she should stay unmarried for the sake of the two kids (only 7 and 9 at the time).  Well, I saw her recently and I have wondered how she's managed to do everything on her own all this time.

I know it's not easy, believe me, I've been there.  But life is really short, so please don't let this get you down. Also, i know my dad loved my mom, so please don't let this recent crazy shit make you doubt that your mom loved your dad.[/quote]

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