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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are too close to this situation to regard it unbiasedly.  Too close as both a manager and a sister.

I'm a manager too.  Occasionally I have asked people to apologize.  When I do I have good reason.  But that does not mean that every manager who has ever asked an employee to apologize has good reason.  Maybe her manager is a weenie who has been bullied by his employees and is taking the low road.  Maybe he's taking the path of least resistance.  Maybe he's stupid.  You don't know that just because you only ask for an apology when it's really necessary, that her boss is also an effective and good manager.  How could you?

And you are also too close as a sister here.  You basically picked a fight with her, and you run to DCUM to complain about how difficult she is.  I think you need to take a look at the dynamic where you can't even bring yourself to say "Wow, Larla, tough day at work.  That really sucks."  Because OP, it sounds like things with your sister are essentially totally toxic.  You don't have a kind word to offer her.[/quote]

I didn't pick a fight, SHE did.  And I did not assume she was wrong - I wanted to understand her boss's reasons and the context of what happened.  If I don't understand the situation, how the hell can I provide advice?  I asked two perfectly reasonable questions in attempt to do what she had asked - HELP HER WITH ADVICE - and she lost it.  If this is how she is with her colleagues and her supervisor, I can see why she was asked to apologize.  I know my sister, and I know her work history.  She is 33 and has held about 10 jobs in the last 10 years, because she is as combative at work as she is with her family.

And you're right, we do have the dynamic you described.  My entire family is full of narcissistic people who only call me when they need/want something or someone to whom they can rant and vent their spleen to for an hour nonstop.  I am not a therapist and I don't want to listen to an hour of bitching and ranting and raving. They neither care nor do they ever ask how I am doing or what is happening in my life.  If I call and ask her how she is doing I am "grilling" her with questions.  If I don't call to ask how she is doing I'm a bitch who doesn't care.  You can't win for trying with her so I usually don't try.  [/quote]

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