Reply to How to handle a (hopefully) temporary separation period?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How to handle a (hopefully) temporary separation period?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Could use some practical input on our situation.  DH and I have been together for 7 years, married for 4 years, and have two young children.  He is a SAHD and I work outside the home.  We were living in DC for a number of years, but 2.5 years ago relocated out west.

We have been working through an issue for the past year (him smoking weed (legal in our new state) -- something I never envisioned in my marriage/co-parenting relationship after growing up in a house with addiction issues and a super negative environment).  We have been seeing a marriage counselor and he has been seeing an individual counselor and I have worked super hard to rebuild trust after many episodes in the past 2 years of him secretly smoking marijuana and then lying/deceiving me about it.  Our current arrangement is that he could have one "recreational use" day every month or so, but that we would be very above board and honest and open in it.

Come to find out this morning that he has been secretly smoking every day for the past month or so.  Again, this is not the first time we've had this pattern, but last time I told him that I wouldn't deal with it again.  So I woke him up this morning after the discovery, asked him to pack his things, and leave.  He stormed out -- super angry -- and didn't take anything with him.  I then got the kids up, got them bfast, took our older son to preschool, and am "working" from home now with our younger (7 mos).

We have an appt to see our marriage counselor on Monday, but until then, I don't know what to do.  I am both angry at him  and I pity him, as this is clearly an addiction issue.  I won't lie -- if he gets some help for his addiction issues, I am willing to try again because he is a wonderful father and a great person overall, so I don't see this as a necessarily permanent arrangement.  So how do I handle this temporary situation logistically?

Do I make him find a place to stay (preferably with a friend)?  Since I earn our income, do I find him a place to stay and pay for it (i.e. AirBnB)?  Do I just make him stay in the guest room and just go through the motions?  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics