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[quote=Anonymous]A lot of my thoughts have already been expressed.

One of the difficult things I -thought- I was prepared for turned out to be even more difficult in reality.   i.e., one of the reasons I stayed in a horrible, self-esteeming killing marriage for as long as I did was because I couldn't bear the idea of not being with my precious (elementary-aged) child every day, every bedtime, every Christmas morning.

Ultimately we divorced, and I found that saying 'bye' to DS is even more gut-wrenching that I had imagined it would be.  Sometimes I just sat in my dining room and sobbed.  And no amount of new hobbies and distractions ever really takes that away completely.

[and before anyone jumps in with armchair psychology, I "handled it" beautifully and said all the correct therapy words and if you knew me IRL, you'd describe me as a hands-off kinda mom who practices a lot of benign neglect parenting on purpose.  DS has always felt the opposite of (s)mothered, if anything, but I ache inside, privately][/quote]

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