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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Underemployed boyfriend-wwyd?"
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[quote=Anonymous] Pay attention to your feelings. It's not for me to judge. You feel what you feel. Don't ignore it. If you believe that he's The One, and you are planning a life with him, why not encourage him to go to grad school? It looks like this could be a dealbreaker for you. Listen to that. We each need what we need. If this perceived lack of ambition leaves you wanting, you owe it to yourself to push a little. You may find that his priority is this relationship, not a job title. Can you live with this? I married a man with little education and very limited job opportunities. I thought I'd be the breadwinner and he'd focus on family. It turns out that his lack of ambition re employment/career was really a reflection of his general lack of interest in doing anything outside of his comfort zone. This is what wrecked the relationship. The job thing was only a slice of the bigger pie here. I think you are correct in owning up to your feelings on this. Be better than I was about examining how this may impact on your relationship down the road. Don't be bullied by the idea that you are somehow snobbish or "a hooker" for wanting someone with ambition. That's what pushed me to commit to a relationship that didn't...ugh, that didn't support my own ambitions or life experience. We weren't "equally yoked" and his limitations, his stubborn fears about expanding his worldview choked all of the love and trust from the relationship. Pay attention to your feelings. Examine them. In the end, I have my children. It doesn't mean that I don't miss the marriage I thought I'd have. Learn from me, OP. [/quote]
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