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[quote=Anonymous]DD just turned 13 and is entering 8th grade.  She has always been a "quiet observer" but always wanting people around (think shy extrovert) and had 2-3 friends throughout elementary school with whom she felt comfortable enough to have playdates with and others kids as acquaintances.

She didn't go to the regular big middle school; she opted for a specialized and small 6-12 grade school in our district.  Luckily she fell into a nice group of 5 other girls.  The group was on the same class schedule and ate lunch together.  After school, the girls were active on social media and skype but DD didn't do much (if really any) hanging out in real life except to study at school after school with some of them.
 
This summer I purposefully did not encourage many camps as I thought DD would be more interested in hanging out plus I also wanted her to take initiative on planning her activities.  I was wrong.

When school first got out, she invited a few girls to do stuff (movie, beach etc..) but had a hard time getting the girls to respond or they were busy with activities.  She hasn't gotten invited out but 2 times (all times to the movies), either.  I have encouraged her to plan an outing because I think having to entertain one of these newer friends at home - lead the conversation/suggest things to do, makes her feel awkward and stressed.

Because of the early rejection this summer, I think she has lost her confidence.  SHe has been home all week and last night I could definitely tell she was lonely.  We talked about who she can ask to do something with and I encouraged her to text them early to set something up but she balked.

I talked to DH about this and he says, "she'll figure it out."  I was painfully shy growing up and still somewhat today and I spent a lot of time alone because I had no idea how to "figure it out."

Is this pretty normal for middle school girls to withdraw somewhat socially over summer?  I know I see groups on young teens hangout out at the beach but there are probably more just sitting home, right?  How much socializing in real life do 13 year olds do?

[b]Do you have a shy teen?   How do you help them overcome shyness - especially if they really want to be social but their shyness holds them back?[/b][/quote]

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