Reply to Ever feel like people put you down for your lifestyle (financially)?

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[quote=Anonymous]I come from an Asian family that has become fairly showy in the last generation. The first generation that came here (my parents; aunts/uncles etc.) in the 70s -- put their heads down, worked hard, scrimped/saved, put kids through college -- the typical immigrant story. Now that their generation is retired/close to retired and their kids (me; my cousins etc.) are settled, they are splurging on nicer things -- vacations, luxury cars etc. -- and they seem to be forgetting that they didn't splurge until they hit their 50s-60s. My generation (i.e. my cousins) are a fairly showy bunch. The showy-ness seems inversely proportional to what they are earning; while I don't know what anyone specifically earns, I find that the big city cardiologist is a lot less into his stuff than the engineer working for the city. Just had to spend the weekend with the entire family at a wedding, and I walked away so freaking sick of their comments about me/my life.

I am someone who lives under their means -- for a few reasons. I'm in law and while I busted my a$$ for a decade in biglaw, I knew I had to save a lot of that money bc I wasn't going to make partner and would end up in a "regular" job. I am in said regular job now -- still an atty position and still pays quite well, but not 2nd yr partner well. I am single -- rent a nice one bedroom, just bought a car bc I moved out of NYC for said regular job and the car is something along the lines of a Honda/Toyota/etc. which I am quite excited about bc I have never gotten to own a car before. So I walk in the door and a cousin who works for the city straight up asks me -- what car did you buy? I say it, and his response is -- "oh please, get a REAL car," and then he proceeds to talk about how he just traded in his Audi for a BMW, his wife has a Lexus SUV, his parents have car x or y. As I'm thinking -- that's nice, I bought the car I wanted; I could buy a luxury vehicle in cash if I wanted, but honestly I prefer to keep my cash invested and not put it into an asset like a car. Same thing re housing -- all over me for not buying a home. I have no idea when/if I'll buy, as I don't necessarily want to be stuck with an illiquid asset before I need to be -- i.e. before school districts etc. matter -- and frankly I want to keep my options open; I always think home ownership ties you down in a certain way -- if a great job comes along 40 miles away and you're a renter, you can break a lease and lose 2 months of rent; if you own -- you either have to go through the hassle of selling (which I realize is really easy in DC but not so much in places where the economy stinks) or you sign up for commuting an extra hr a day or more likely, you turn it down.

I didn't explain any of this bc I don't think it's anyone's business, but I'm so sick of people thinking I am "less" than them bc they can't "see" what I have. Anyone else had this experience or is it just my ridiculous family?? [/quote]

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