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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
She has to get with the times. Gone are the days of staying in one place, let alone one country, your whole life.

As an international family, with parents overseas across the Atlantic and grandparents overseas across the Pacific, and other family members widely scattered in different other countries, I don't really have sympathy for your mother.

I saw my grandparents once every 5 years at the most, even the ones who only lived a few countries away.
My children see their grandparents once every year! That's progress :-)

[/quote]

I get what you are saying and I've even lived abroad for stints away from everyone I've known except for DH, but to pretend like "gone are the days" when someone might value staying in a certain distance from family is just wrong. There are definitely people who place that value higher and DO live that way. I know that I wish my own DH saw things more that way, but he was raised to think that siblings and generations are just supposed to spread out and just not bonded in the same way, or maybe to say not in each other's lives in the same way as those who choose to stay physically closer.

And yes, yes before people jump in with the "I live 5 miles from my brother and we don't speak" anecdotes, I am not talking about people who "end up" near family, I'm talking about people who make conscious decisions for their own family based in some part on whatever value they put on extended family relationships. Those people aren't all "gone with the times" is all I am saying.

OP- your mother's guilt trips are not healthy, nor are making the visits awkward. I don't entirely dismiss her feelings though. I think she needs to find healthier ways to discuss or process them though!

Also, if you are willing to move maybe tell her to start helping if she hears of good jobs down there! If not she can't complain.[/quote]

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