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[quote=Anonymous]
my brother and his wife (larla, for clarity)  and one other brother live in the same city as my husband's sister, Mary (single, mid 30s, no kids - 2 years older than my married brother). They have all invited Mary over repeatedly - most recently for a bbq 3 weeks ago that she accepted and then backed out of the day of the party. She has never reciprocated or initiated getting together, but has loudly complained to me that theyr don't invite her enough or introduce her to their male friends.

this weekend, my DDs had a performance that whole family has known about for some time. Both brothers decide to come and make a long wknd of it. Married brother has a car in the city and in car are my 2 brothers and Larla. Larla also invites her brother to come down to Dc for fun. He says yes. Her other brother is flying in to DC from LA for the weekend, so they'll have a fam reunion, and he will drive back in the car on the way back up - so, on the way down, there are 4 people in the car, and 5 on way up.

So, they all arrive and DH is miffed they didn't ask Mary to come along. or even ask her. He calls her and she is all put-out and says she would have taken a day off to come down (they came down on thursday). In the past, when my brothers have offered to drive Mary, she is very inflexible - insists that everyone wait until she is ready to go, insists on being picked up instead to using public transport to get to them) - her location being 40 minutes away from my brother, insisting on a certain number of breaks, etc. It has led to a lot of tension btwn me and my siblings - b/c they dislike that they are super nice to her and then she throws a fit, backs of invitations, doesn't reciprocate - and then throws another fit whne "excluded".

It's about to turn into WW3 here b/c DH is mad that Mary was excluded from the kids' performance.

I think that despite any issue they have with Mary, this is one time where they have a totally legitimate reason not to drive her or even to ask her - b/c they had a full car down and back.

thoughts?
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