Reply to sibling's DUI - helping vs enabling?

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[quote=Anonymous]Need some advice and perspective.  Younger sibling was arrested last night for DUI (first offense).  He refused a breathalyzer and thus faces an automatic license suspension, which I believe is for at least a couple months.  He called to tell me today and to ask if I would drive him to his first AA meeting.  When I got to his house, he was shaking and crying and had dumped every bottle.  I drove him to the meeting and bought him some dinner.  He asked me to drive him to his court date next week and possibly to some AA meetings if he can't bike there.  He is in his 30s, single, a professional but in a low paying field.  He never seems to have any savings.  He does not feel that he can go to our parents for support (dysfunction issues that would be a whole other thread) and is fearful of potential consequences to his career.  I am ten years older and financially secure.  He has found an attorney and has asked me to loan him money for his legal fees.  I am not sure what to do.  I can afford to loan him the money, but am not confident that it would be repaid in a prompt manner without my having to ask.  Would it be enabling if I paid for the attorney and told sibling that this is a one-time gift, and that if there are future legal problems, I cannot help?  Or should I give him a few hundred dollars and tell him that is all I can do? Also, I really do not want to be his taxi service.  I have told him I will help when I can but that I have obligations to my own family.  I certainly hope that this experience will be the wake up call that enables him to turn his life around, but I realize that it would be naive for me to think that it will be smooth sailing from here.  Anyone been there/done that?   [/quote]

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