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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "not sure how to help/advise a friend"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your friend is a selfish ass. Who picks a job over their spouse? He opted to leave his wife to move abroad. Happily married people don't do that. He's distant because he is literally distant...in another country. If he wants to stay married, then he needs to move home and live with his wife. Period. This isn't rocket science. [/quote] To be clear, he didn't leave his wife to move abroad. They moved there together, tried coming back and he couldn't find jobs that would last because the industry he's in is is in pretty bad shape here. So they left again together, and after a while she decided she'd had enough and came back. And I can guarantee you he's not selfish. I'm not going to give additional details but there are things he's done for his spouse that few men would do. Not to mention the kindness he extends to others. I don't know how much they each make but I get a sense that his income is several times hers and is essential to maintaining their lifestyle (lots of travel for leisure and to visit family). I think it's also provided her with the ability to explore careers that would satisfy her without having to worry too much about earning a paycheck while he was earning the big bucks. He also loves the job he has right now and there's no guarantee a job here would be nearly as rewarding either psychologically or financially. [/quote] There are things he's done for his spouse that few men would do? You've piqued my interest there, because I'm pretty skeptical of that. Bigger picture, though, all this stuff about their finances and how rewarding his career is still means he's prioritizing his career and lifestyle over his marriage. He can work out a plan with his wife to come back to the U.S. and retrain if needed to make a career change. But he has to be willing to do that. If he stays abroad because he's not willing to sacrifice the career satisfaction, then he needs to own his priorities. She tried to make living abroad work (twice) for him, now it's his turn to make a compromise for her.[/quote]
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