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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We live far away from my ILs, but I think of them as a second set of parents since they've known me for almost half my life.  DH talks to his family at least a few times a week and we also have frequent long Facetime and Skype conversations.  DH initiates most of it, but I definitely do my share.  A large part of it is to keep them involved in the kids' lives, but they come to visit or we got to see them every couple of months.

I definitely enjoy hanging out with my ILs, [b]but they're nice people and have always been great about including me as a part of the family[/b] and also trying to respect boundaries.[/quote]

Wow, this is fantastic.  This is exactly how I want to be someday.  I want to be there for all of my children equally.

MIL has friends who badmouth their DILs.  MIL likes to try to "fit in" - even if that means being a terrible person and making up perceived wrongs, including (or especially by) me. It really has taken its toll.  Being nice to someone like MIL (I have learned) gets me no where, so I just avoid her, because it is easier not to be one of MILs targets.  I don't know what MIL is so angry about, but it happened WAY before I knew her, sadly.

Be a smart MIL and keep your DIL on your good side.  You never know when YOU might need something.  Unless of course, your daughters are independently wealthy :)  I happen to be, so I suppose there are a certain "type" of person that looks to fault someone like me.  KWIM?

I also have to ask, HOW do you get your DH to call his mother?  My DH refuses to, and I just know that MIL somehow blames me for this.  To you, I say your MIL must be a (really!!!!) great mother, if her son actually WANTS to call her!  No matter how many times I remind DH to call his mother, he has no interest.  I think she might have wronged him in a bad way growing up.

What do you do if you did nothing to her, but MIL just wants a target? Avoid her like I have been doing, I suppose.

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