Reply to not sure how to help/advise a friend

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "not sure how to help/advise a friend"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]An old friend of mine recently called me to pour out the tale of some troubles he's having with his wife. I'm his friend so not exactly unbiased in this matter and I'm curious about other perspectives, especially from couples in long-distance marriages.

They've been married for two decades and have grown children.
Some years ago, he received an offer to go work abroad in a fantastic job that paid far more than he had been making here. They left but came back about a few years later because they were homesick for the U.S. For a couple of years he bounced around a couple of jobs that he ended up leaving because the industry he works in is far poorer shape here than it is elsewhere in the world, and as a last resort he called back his former  employer who gladly took him back in an even better job.

It was very difficult for her, if not downright impossible, to work abroad, which made her really unhappy, and after a couple of years of this she came back to the U.S and spent some time figuring out what she wanted to do career wise. She seems to have recently settled on something that satisfies her.

He's been spending the last three years still working abroad and flying back to the U.S. as much as he can for holidays and get-togethers with his spouse, kids and family. As far as I can tell, she hasn't gone to visit him abroad at all in the last two years. His goal has been to ultimately come back here, and he asked his employer a year ago about getting posted back in the US, but hasn't gotten any positive vibes about this so far.

I thought they were fine with this lifestyle but he told me that his wife has recently been complaining that he's distant and less emotionally connected to her when he comes back. She has told him that he needs to set a specific date to come back to the U.S. and that she feels he'll have no trouble finding a job here given his experience. She also feels that he prioritizes friends more than his family now and wants him to loosen some of those bonds as she feels they're contributing to the distance she says he's putting between himself and his wife.

He's worried about his job prospects here and he sounded very hurt. I tend to think he's doing the best he can under the circumstances but like I said, I'm not objective. 
Thoughts?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics