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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I grew up in the same small town about 2+ hrs south of here. My parents didn't go to college and neither did any of my older siblings/their spouses; life basically has consisted of taking whatever jobs are available -- at times it's good when manufacturing is hot; and then at times it's terrible esp. if a big factory in town closes or cuts hours. I was hellbent on leaving since I was about 15; DH -- my high school boyfriend -- didn't care one way or the other but basically was willing to follow me so I could follow my dreams. DH and I both went to state school -- lots of scholarships etc; we then moved 5+ hrs away so I could go to law school; then we ended up in 2 different big cities where I got biglaw jobs.

We're now back in DC about 2 hrs away from my family, and we used to go back all the time -- usually at least 1x/month -- to hang out with my parents, siblings, nieces/nephews. It was great when we were first married and also when my kids were babies -- they're very well loved by my family, love their cousins etc; we were happy to go back just to hang out or because a nephew was in a school play or had a track meet or whatever. Some of my siblings' kids however are now in their late teens/early 20s and starting to establish their own lives. It's the same cycle repeating as my own family -- they aren't going to college or going and dropping/failing out; girlfriends pregnant at age 20; no idea how they'll provide for new babies without any established career or trade; they don't want to stick with any thing like a skilled trade etc.

Thing is now my kids are old enough (mid elementary school) that they're starting to notice. I realize how important an extended family is, but I also don't understand how I'm supposed to teach my kids OUR expectations -- good grades in school; college; career of some kind; and preferably marriage then babies in that order -- when they can say "cousin John didn't go to college and doesn't work and he and Lauren have a baby, so what's the big deal?"[/quote]

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