Reply to Have you ever taken back a cheating spouse or SO? How'd it turn out?

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Reply to "Have you ever taken back a cheating spouse or SO? How'd it turn out?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Back when my kids were younger, I caught my boyfriend/father of my kids in a nightclub kissing my next door neighbor/"friend."

I remember how devastated I was + how numb I felt months afterward.

However after the incident, he was very remorseful and became the boyfriend that I always wanted him to be. It took that circumstance for him to change! He started helping out more w/the kids, had a much kinder disposition and told me almost every day how sorry he was. I stayed w/him because I needed his help w/our kids plus honestly, I was afraid of being totally alone in the world.

Over time, my anger, bitterness and humiliation over what he did to me grew exponentially and it got to the point where any time he touched me, I was repulsed. It took seven years, but I finally realized that I didn't have to stay w/someone just because we shared children together and that staying in the relationship was driving me into a deep depression so I ended things.

#bestdecisionever

A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders immediately and every breath I took thereafter was of fresh, clean air.

To anyone who stays w/a cheater, your love won't dissipate overnight, but will over time. You will never forget the pain this person caused you and eventually it will eat you up inside until it has taken your spirit and dignity.

Leave immediately.[/quote]
[b]
Sure. Your experience is the universal one, and we should all bow to your anecdotal evidence[/b].

OP, there are many instances where people who stayed married to a cheating spouse repaired their marriages completely. You can read many examples on survivinginfidelity.com. Do all marriages survive? No, but when both partners put in a lot of hard work - especially the cheater, who must examine and fix some pretty deep character flaws - it is possible for them to thrive again.

But the other PP was right - no sweeping things under the rug. If you don't deal with the hard stuff, the marriage will likely fail.[/quote]

Wow. Just wow.

I cannot believe a few PPs are actually advising people to stick it out with a spouse who was unfaithful.

So what if other people ended up "working it out??" Just because it worked out for other couples doesn't mean that every couple should work it out.

If someone cheated on their spouse, they shouldn't get any pass whatsoever. And people shouldn't try to work through an affair just because they have a family that should be intact. That is the most ludicrous logic I have ever heard of.

Bottom line:

If you are married to someone and that person cheats on you, they also cheat on their family as well.

Anyone who stays in a marriage with someone who cheated on them is only selling themselves short in the respect dept. How can any one respect someone who would stay with someone who slept with someone else....??! It is beyond my comprehension.

And most importantly, any parent who forgives a cheater is setting a horrible example for their young children. That is just irresponsible in my opinion.  :cry:  [/quote]

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