Reply to Won't take no for an answer and going around to all my family asking them to intercede

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[quote=Anonymous]There's no friendship forum, so I guess I'll put this here. I have a former friend with what I suspect are some mental health issues, and certainly some attachment issues. As long as I've known her, she's had an epic falling out with whoever her dearest friend is at the time - takes her about 5 years to go through the whole cycle from start to finish. We had been friends for ten, so I thought I somehow was magically avoiding to trigger whatever her issues were. Turns out I just stuck around and put up with more than anyone else did, and eventually it became my turn to be the focus, and now that I've put up with what scared most off, the next level of intensity is rather horrible. How this all devolved is a long story, as I suppose any ten year friendship would be, but at this point, I am done. I have used every healthy boundary setting & maintaining tool in my toolbox. I have directly told her - this is what I can offer you, this is what I can't accept in terms of how I'm treated, and this is a take it or leave it offer. Even with such direct communication, she still just doesn't get it. Every response has been that she doesn't understand what happened, that she just needs more explanation from me as to what she did that could have possibly offended me, that we need to communicate better, that we need mediation, that this is all a miscommunication. She is completely deaf to the message that certain behaviors are problematic, and that regardless of motivation, I can't accept being treated a certain way. All she hears is miscommunication and if we could just better understand each other, the actions taken would suddenly be okay.

Well, it's not a fruitful exchange so I've stopped engaging - which I told her explicitly, since that also would have otherwise caused a "why in in the world is this happening? what is happening?" panic. She doesn't like my decision, obviously, and has been going around to my friends and family asking them to intercede on her behalf. She approaches them, pretending to not know things that I have told her, and tricks them into divulging information I have decided to stop sharing with her. I have blocked her on every medium I can, but I can't block her from my whole family. I'm just concerned about the level of obsession and refusal to accept that my answer is no, and no one is going to get me to change it for her. It's been two years, and she's still doing this. I'm kinda scared that she's just out & out lost her mind, and lost all sense of boundaries. It wouldn't be entirely shocking if she just turned up at my door one day - and I haven't shared my address, or even what state I'm in for that exact reason.

I'm mostly just venting, but also asking for advice. Would any of you pursue a restraining order at this point? Is that crazy? Is there something else I should be considering?

(Obviously, I run like hell from people giving off these red flags now, so hopefully will never be in this situation again.)[/quote]

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